life

Brooklyn, Part 3

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I stayed at a very nice hotel in Brooklyn: the Hoxton, Williamsburg. The bed was so comfortable that I asked them to tell me who the mattress manufacturer was.

As with many hotels, though (especially, I find, European ones), the only covering on top of the bed was a 4-inch-thick duvet. For the life of me, I do not understand the appeal of a big, thick duvet as the only cover. Whatever part of my body the duvet is on spends the night over-heated and sweaty, while the part I leave uncovered is cold. I spent the first night trying to find some sweet spot that would even out the hot and cold but was not very successful. In fact, halfway through the night, I took a big bath towel and used that as a sheet for the upper part of my body. Much better!

If you’re going to give me a duvet, at least give me a single top sheet to go with it. I did ask for a sheet the next morning and slept beautifully the next two nights with the duvet over my feet and the sheet over the rest of me.

That was an easy fix, the next problem not so much so. The bed had 6 or more pillows on it, all of them were filled with down (or some equivalent). I have never understood the appeal of down pillows if a nice foam one is available. I asked for a foam one when I requested the sheet, but, alas, they simply provided me with yet another down one.

Here is what I don’t like about down pillows: you fluff them up before going to bed, then you fluff them up every time you get up during the night, and yet, this is what you get in the morning:

My head is resting on about 1-inch of material, meantime, as I am a side-sleeper, I am almost suffocated by all the down that is no longer under my head.

Using two pillows doesn’t change things very much:

Here is what my Isontonic pillow looks like before I go to bed:

And here is what it looks like in the morning:

Give me a good-quality foam pillow any night!

I Love My Bidet

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After a few people this year told me how much they like their bidet, I went out and got one. Now I wonder why the hell these things aren’t standard in every household. They’re freaking awesome! And they save a tremendous amount of toilet paper, so better for the environment. Win, win!

(And, no, I don’t feel bad about the amount of water it uses even though I live in the desert because Henderson recycles 99+% of the water that goes into the sewer system.)

According to the internet https://bestmoderntoilet.com/which-countries-use-bidets-the-most/:

  • Italy has the highest bidet adoption rate among all countries, with approximately 97% of households having a bidet.
  • Japan has seen a steady increase in bidet adoption, with approximately 81% of households having bidets installed in their bathrooms.
  • Bidets are widely used in households in Spain, with approximately 85% of households having a bidet.
  • Bidet usage varies significantly across different countries, with the United States and China having relatively low adoption rates.

I wasn’t sure whether I’d use all the options on it but have to admit that I turned on the water-warming feature almost right away. And now that cool weather has finally arrived, I have turned on the seat-warming feature. A warm seat in the middle of the night is a surprisingly wonderful luxury.

Getting one is not a huge expense, either. Mine is the Brondell LE99 Bidet Toilet Seat which is around $300. I did have my handyman put a GFI outlet in by the toilet, but that’s not a necessity as long as there is power somewhere nearby.

In short, if you don’t have a bidet, get one! I can’t imagine you’ll regret it.

Dear Govenor Lombardo

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A year ago this month, my mom celebrated her 99th birthday. During the week of her birthday, we went out one morning for her favorite chocolate-chip waffle and on another day, a chocolate milkshake. We had cupcakes on the day itself with her friends at her assisted-living home.

On that day, I told mom that her doctor was already making plans to throw her a big party for her 100th birthday. Mom looked at me, shook her head, and said “No, I’m not going be here for that.” Four days later, I got a call to say she had fallen and had been taken to the hospital.

Turns out her right femur had broken. Her left one had broken back in 2019 and she had surgery and recovered well. But now, at her age and with some heart irregularities, fixing the leg was just not possible. She was sent back to assisted living to spend the rest of her days lying in bed, unable to move, in constant pain, and perfectly conscious of all of these facts.

As you can imagine, she was not happy with that state of affairs and wished she could do something about it.

The Nevada legislature earlier that year had passed SB239, which “would have allowed terminally ill Nevadans to self-administer medication to end their own lives. The bill contained a number of steps to ensure the decision was not influenced by others, as well as legal protections for medical personnel involved in the process.”

Govenor Lombardo vetoed that bill, stating: “SB239 allows for physician assisted suicide in the State of Nevada. End of life decisions are never easy. Individuals and family members must often come together to face many challenges — including deciding what is the best course of medical treatment for a loved one. Fortunately, expansions in palliative care services and continued improvement in advanced pain management make the end-of-life provisions in SB239 unnecessary.“

My mom is now left with the certainty of never getting out of bed again, having to be catharized, being in incredible pain (in spite of heavy-duty pain meds) whenever they have to roll her from side to side and there is nothing, nothing, she is capable of doing about it.

My family has always been very proactive about preparing for end-of-life issues: trusts, wills, financial power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and POLST (Portable Medical Orders). Amongst other things, Mom’s POLST specified that was not to be resuscitated, not to be given a feeding tube, and was to be given palliative care.

Mom, at this point, is perfectly capable of stating that she does not want to live any longer in these circumstances. And yet there is nothing proactive that she can do and nothing that I, or anyone else, can do about the situation.

Mom’s response was to quit eating and, eventually, to quit drinking. Some 18 days after she fell, she passed away in the morning of the 31st.

It pisses me off that I wasn’t there to hold her hand, because I couldn’t be there 24/7 for the several weeks if took her body to fail. It pisses me off that I have more options for taking care of my dog than I had for taking care of my mom. It pisses me off that some politician gets to decide what is right for me and my family in situations like this.

One year later I obviously find it incomprehensible that in spite of the explicit instructions given by my mom, she had to suffer unnecessary pain for weeks.

How about letting the person and family members involved make their own decisions! My politest response to you, Govenor Lombardo and your “advances in pain management”, is to “get stuffed”.